I’m A Volcano…


            Griffin came back downstairs after he put the kids to bed.

            I sat at the table nursing my blues with a glass of red wine. I rarely drank anything but stuff from my father’s vineyard out of unnecessary loyalty—and because it was free. Griffin brought bottles home all the time even though he rarely drank it.

            He came into the room in just his sweatpants because he rarely wore a shirt when it was just us in the house. Now that my mom was gone he was back to his old habits…now that I minded.

            He didn’t drink around the kids so he poured himself a scotch and sat at the table to join me.

            “How’d it go?”

            “Cassandra was in a mood.”

            “Yeah…she gets that from me.”

            He stared at me with his crystal blue eyes, possessing me across the table, giving me those looks that only happened when the kids were either distracted or in bed. He didn’t want kids but he caved when I gave him the ultimatum. But it turned out he was a great father…now that I was surprised. “What troubles you, baby?”

            “Everything my mom told me…”       

            He took a drink before he crossed his arms over his chest.

            “She wouldn’t lie to me. My dad wouldn’t lie. Which means…I have to kick her ass.”

            He smirked like he might laugh, but his mouth never opened. “We do stupid shit when we’re young—”

            “We weren’t that young. Out of college…”

            “But youth and cockiness go hand-in-hand.”

            “You’re saying I should just get over it?”

            “Not at all what I said.”

            “Because I think I might kick her ass.”

            He smirked again. “It didn’t affect your parents’ relationship.”

            “But it could have. What if my mom walked in there while Nadine was looking at my dad’s dick as he stood in the shower? What if she didn’t believe my dad was just minding his own damn business?”

            “But that didn’t happen, baby.”

            I sighed in frustration. “What if this was you?”

            “I don’t have parents,” he said simply.

            “You know what I mean…”

            He took another drink and looked away, seeming bored by this conversation.

            “So you think I should just say nothing? Act like it never happened. I see Nadine all the time…”

            “Maybe you should talk to her before all the ass-kicking.”

            “That sounds like advice you would never take.”

            He smirked again. “I prefer the non-verbal approach to confrontation…”

            “I can’t believe I asked her to be the godmother to our kids instead of Carmen. What if she tries to fuck our son when he’s older?”

            “Baby.” He looked at me again.

            “I’m serious.”

            “Talk to her. Calmly.”

            “We both know I don’t do calm—”

            “Well, you’re going to have to try because you could lose one of your oldest friends.”

            “No, she’s the one who could lose one of her oldest friends…”

            Griffin managed to stay calm while I continued to spiral. “She’s going to be embarrassed when you confront her. Probably mortified. She’s a mother and a wife now so I’m sure she regrets all that shit.”

            “Why are you always so damn calm and pragmatic?”          

            “Because I have to be when I’m married to a passionate woman.”

            I rolled my eyes and drank from my glass.

            “Give her the benefit of the doubt. All I’m saying.”

            “Benefit of the doubt? My parents wouldn’t lie…”

            “I know they wouldn’t. But perhaps she can explain the situation.”

            “What kind of explanation can she possibly provide—”

            “What’s your plan? To bulldoze her at a restaurant and bitch slap her? To ghost her and never speak to her again?”

            “I don’t hate those ideas…”

            “Baby.” He gave me a hard stare. “I understand you’re upset right now. But don’t pretend you haven’t done some stupid shit when you were young.”

            “I didn’t try to fuck my best friend’s dad—”

            “But you fucked your family’s blood enemy. A man that threatened to kill you. A man that your father despised. I think a lot of people would say that was really fucking stupid.”

            “It wasn’t stupid,” I said quietly. “If it was a mistake, it’s the best mistake of my life.”

            He stared at me with this hard blue eyes, claiming me as his with his stare.

            I finished the rest of my glass and licked my lips.

            “Let’s go to bed.” Griffin rose from the table.

            “Yeah. I’m sure you’re tired after wrestling Cassandra…” I got up and pushed the chair in.

            “Baby, I’m not tired. Not one fucking bit…”